Happy summer: Enza’s thoughts
Enza was a patient of ours. Back in 2019, she shared her thoughts as a former brace wearer. Despite being shy, she knows that it can be good to talk about yourself and say thank you. The encouraging things she has to say here are a testament to the power of courage.
She agreed to let us republish her letter on this blog.
Thank you, Enza!
Here’s wishing you a happy summer and a wonderful life!
Hi everyone,
It is already nearly a year since I stopped wearing a brace. But I wore one for the 9 years before that. Although I call it a “cage”, it should not be seen as a prison, more as a device designed to prepare us for the freedom that will follow. It was clear from the start that my scoliosis, which came to light unexpectedly when I was 12 years old, was severe. I was too scared to entertain the idea of surgery, even though, for years (during which I tried bracing and casting), I continued to be told, by different doctors, that surgery was the only viable option for me. Then, after a series of fortuitous events, I came across ISICO.
They didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know: my scoliosis was severe and warranted surgery. However, they also said there was a new possibility I could try. To begin with, I didn’t feel too happy about that, because once you have resigned yourself to something you didn’t want, hope is the last thing you need: it means you have to find the courage to roll up your sleeves again and decide: “OK, let’s go back to the beginning, and try again. I’m still willing to give it a go”. But that’s exactly how it was. I decided to have a go with a new brace, embarking on a new course of treatment that involved daily exercises. And even though I no longer felt optimistic, for the first time ever, I actually started to see an improvement and realise that my efforts were paying off. This is why, after many years — many moments of sadness, many hot, sweaty summers, countless t-shirts three sizes too big, as well as all the itching, irritation, annoying questions, and the need to wear my hair very long to try and disguise the shape of the brace at the back — I am now sitting in my room here at university, taking time out between exams to write to you.
A few years ago, I wrote a post urging you to face your treatment with all the strength and spirit you could muster. Today, many months on, my message is still the same, except that this time I am saying it as someone for whom wearing a brace for 23 hours a day is a memory, something from the past. As far away and impossible as it may seem now, this moment will come for you, too, as long as you work towards it with perseverance and determination, despite the difficulties involved. Every time you think you can’t do it, and want to tear off that plastic shell that makes you feel so unnatural and awkward alongside everyone else, try to remember that brace wearing just a moment in time.
If you live it in a positive way, a moment that can even become something to smile about, a personal victory won through courage and perseverance, and a reason to feel even better about yourself in the future.
Today, I am not miraculously healed. However, for the moment at least, my back has stopped getting worse. I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I do know that, right now, I feel happy about the battles I have won, proud of how I overcame the heat and also the feeling (which lasted until I after I turned 19) that I was somehow inadequate. And every sign that remains, every asymmetry or defect, is like a prize left over from a battle that I know I waged well (with the support of the best possible allies: my family, friends, doctors, and physiotherapists).
I do not use the word “battle” lightly; after all, let’s not kid ourselves, bracing is not easy. It doesn’t even really help to think of those who are worse off than you, because when you are going through something, it does become a personal battle, even if you know that there are worse things you could be facing.
But what I want to say to you is this: make the best of your life and fight with gritted teeth, because the day will come when you feel super proud of everything you have managed to do.
And even if, when you’re in the midst of it all, it seems like the end of the world, the good thing is that that is certainly not true, and you are actually far stronger than you thought. Don’t be discouraged, keep pedalling away and try to make the journey unforgettable, because you will reach the descent and, I promise you, that part is a blast.
Big hugs to you all, and many thanks to ISICO. Have a great summer!
Enza